Drexel builds new stadium to one-up Temple

Drexel Football Team to receive new stadium, training facility Not to be outdone by Temple University’s recent decision to build a new $100 million football stadium, Drexel has decided to come up with one of their own. The new Panini-Brandywiener Dragon Stadium will be the new centerpiece of campus life according to DrexelNOW, the propaganda […]

A tribute to a fan’s love of Sam Hinkie

What a time to be alive if you’re a Philadelphia 76ers fan. The team has been so bad that theyhave actually been interesting to watch. On a nightly basis we, the fans, have the unique opportunity to see if the Sixers will surpass 90 points. Papa John’s just had to take advantage of the marketing […]

M. bball hires Zach Spyker to keep name recognition

According to sources close to Drexel’s men’s basketball head coaching search, athletic director Aaric Wilmur provided search firm Parker Executive Search with just one requirement for its new coach: a name as kick-ass as, or more kick-ass than, Bruiser Flynt. Multiple sources, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of this classified information, […]

NCAA: field hockey refs constantly make up rules

In a new report released March 21 by the NCAA, it has been announced that the sport of field hockey actually does not have an official rulebook and the referees are just encouraged to make shit up as they go along. The most important part of the statement read, “There are only three rules in […]