Students of the College of Arts and Sciences — especially the biology and chemistry kids, since they are the ones who spend the most time in the Papadakis Integrated Sciences Building — were shocked when they got an email from the dean of CoAS announcing that the Biowall is going to be replaced with plastic waste April 1.
The Biowall is a 22-foot wide, 80-foot tall wall of 12 different tropical plants. The wall was designed by Nedlaw Living Walls and is maintained by Parker Plants.
“Our hearts have been broken over the years seeing as how the poles are melting, plastic continents are accumulating in the oceans and animals are dying due to suffocation with the remains of plastic bags and straws,” the dean of CoAS, Margaret Foss Le’Fuel, said in the declaration. “Hence, we have decided we are going to do our part and replace the Biowall with plastic waste so there can be less waste in the oceans.”
This air-purifier wall is North America’s largest living biofilter and the only biofilter of its kind at a U.S. university, but, to be honest, the air there feels like any other, so The Rectangle suspects that the regular air in PISB is the real reason why they are tearing it down.
“I really love this initiative, like my heart literally melts every time I see a picture of a turtle asphyxiated by a plastic bag on Instagram. Ugh, so sad,” Missy Firstworld, a biology major who came to Drexel as a fashion major and does not know how to properly recycle, said while holding her signature Starbucks Frappuccino with three plastic straws.
However, there has also been a lot of backlash against this measure.
“That is simply not how it works,” Sara Evergreen, an environmental science major who has been holding a raw vegan diet for six months, said. “If they really want to make a change they should melt down all of the plastic and make an army of Mario statues to disperse throughout the country as a series of sleep agents: ready at a moment’s notice to slap strangers with a helping of student debt.”
“At the very least we should get that guy who eats airplanes to just eat all of the trash in the world and then shoot him into space. It’s so simple, I can’t believe we can’t figure this out.” Evergreen said.
Even students outside of CoAS are making comments on the matter.
“Bruh, I got so sad when they told me that the green was going out of Papadakis. Green is my favorite color, bruh. CoAS be trippin’ if they think plastic is as dope as green,” Brad Douche-Baggenbart, a fraternity brother and stoner majoring in marketing, said.
Douche-Baggenbart wishes to develop a business that cultivates medical marijuana walls.