Earlier on in the term, Drexel University experienced a mid-week snow day. School was cancelled for Wednesday, with the notification going out Tuesday night when no snow was even on the ground. Come Wednesday afternoon, Drexel was one large blanket of snow.

If you had taken any ganders outside during the day, you would’ve seen only a few brave souls attempting to reach any other building besides their place of residence. The few who decided to head out were bundled up, bracing for the snow and cold that was coming down at an astronomical rate. However, several student sources could confirm that there was that one guy wearing shorts as he trudged to Urban Eatery.

As the snow failed to subside at any point during the afternoon and the winds were whipping with their usual ferocity, many students found themselves ducking into buildings for cover from the elements. Students escaping to Gerri C. LeBow Hall for some coffee got excited for a brief moment as they entered, only to have their dreams and timeliness once again crushed by the Starbucks line. Students who could make it to the Papadakis Integrated Science Building found the biowall also covered in snow, and then they spent the rest of the day trying to figure out how to make vertical snow angels.

By the end of the snow day, students had returned to their dorms to prepare for the ensuing days of slush-filled sidewalks and icy falls on walks to and from classes. However, a text alert from DrexelAlready-BrokenNews buzzed everyone’s phones in the evening.

It had been reported that approximately around 3:12 p.m., a student by the name of Chester Westminster Abbey Johnson had been spotted ducking into the back entrance of Main Building, leading him into the hallways of Randall Hall.

Students Arnold Arm-n-Hammer Williams and Samantha Tyra-Damia could place Johnson heading towards Curtis Hall shortly after he entered Main Building. Williams and Tyra-Damia witnessed Johnson turn into the back passageways as they were going to the 4th floor sauna/classroom hybrid study experience, but as they were leaving later in the afternoon, Johnson was nowhere to be seen.

The initial interviews conducted in Main and Randall show that not only is Curtis Hall akin to a labyrinth in architectural design, but its parts were constructed in the Bermuda Triangle before being sent to Drexel for construction.

After checking out the CCTV footage of Main Building, Randall Hall and Curtis Hall on that snowy Wednesday, several discrepancies arose as investigators tried to triangulate exactly where Johnson could’ve gone.

After talking to Drexel Chief of Police Eye-lean Bear, she was able to clarify a couple of questions regarding Johnson’s whereabouts and the likelihood of him being found in the foreseeable future.

“The footage places him anywhere between the second floor engineering labs, the skywalk that connects with Paul Peck and the Drexel University Observatory that should reside on the 3rd floor of Curtis Hall,” Bear reported. “He was seen heading down those corridors at different points in time in the later stages of the afternoon on the 20th of February, but we cannot disclose the exact timing or where he was last seen due to fear of other students also going in and not coming out.”

It is clear that Bear has a genuine fear of Curtis Hall resembling a mix of a haunted house and Hogwarts at the current moment, and is urging students to either travel in packs when going to classes in Curtis, or to generally avoid it at all costs.

Some students remain skeptical of Johnson’s return, but some have voiced their own conspiracy theories behind it.

Sophomore Azalea Tyra Central Banks was open to discussing her in-depth analysis of the timeline of events.

“Remember that burst pipe earlier in the term? Yeah, that wasn’t no ordinary burst. That was most definitely the basilisk of Drexel beginning its reign of terror,” she said. “We’re talking Chamber of Secrets, right here on our campus. Chester went in at the wrong time and he went in alone, I got no faith in that boy coming out until at least Saint Patrick’s Day.”

Drexel listened to Banks’ theory and decided to heed her warning, and decided to wait until last weekend to act in case Johnson would show up before then.

With St. Patrick’s Day having past by in a green and white blur, Drexel University officials are scrambling to assemble a search team for Johnson.

“It’s been almost a month since Johnson has disappeared, and now we are starting to get worried that he may be seriously in danger. We know that he did disappear around the beginning of midterms, and this long con of avoiding the responsibility would be admirable if we weren’t actually worried. It’s not Johnson, it’s Curtis Hall,” Bear said in a press conference early Monday morning.

More updates are soon to follow, but for now, Chester Johnson is still somewhere lost in the Frylight Zone in Curtis Hall.