The S&P 500 fell to an all-time low yesterday and so have co-op offerings. Many students who would like to get job experience and money are unable to do so. The Rectangle interviewed Nepo Baby ‘27, who has secured a prestigious investment banking co-op at J.P. Morgan, to share his resume to help future Drexel Dragons figure out how to make their application stand out among a pool of impressive candidates.

Education

Drexel University

BS in Finance and Business Analytics

Minor in Accounting

GPA: 2.3

Experience

Systems Manager

• Led project to upgrade illumination system ahead of schedule, no worksite accidents (changed a lightbulb)
• Upgraded organization’s information systems with no cyber attacks; patched bugs, saved energy, improved UI (phone automatically updated itself)

Inventory Analyst

• Used mathematical models to project inventory levels which detected future shortage early (used y=mx+b to realize Dragoncard is running out of dining dollars)
• Successfully managed large-scale inventory audit ahead of schedule and under budget (had diarrhea after eating chicken from Urban Eatery)
• Identified cost-efficient products to improve productivity, morale and cooperative activity (took free condoms from Student Center for Diversity and Inclusion)

Public Relations Manager

• Managed potential risk in cooperation with partners and averted reputational disaster (found out hot Tinder date is getting married next weekend)
• Managed charitable contributions for local disadvantaged community (got mugged on the SEPTA)

Skills

• Resilient under stress (wastes time and procrastinates until the last minute)
• Communication (goes around yapping with everyone and distracting them)
• Innovative (always able to find new ways to mess up)

Attachment: