The Happy Haps

Jawn Fries sets out to determine side effects of letting ambition wait
Senior vice president of enrollment management and wallet extraction, Handy Freake, announced another record-breaking number of incoming students. Nearly 6,000 freshman are slated to come…
12 months ago • By
Admin changes all traffic lights to blue and yellow only
Piper Upper, assistant vice director of the office of unnecessary construction, made all campus traffic lights blue and yellow April 1 in a last ditch…
12 months ago • By
TEEK purchases Drexel, lifts ban on itself
After facing five years of double secret probation for failing to comply with Drexel University’s alcohol policy, respected fraternity Tau Epsilon Epsilon Kappa has bought…
12 months ago • By
Too many freshmen accepted, again
  Senior vice president of enrollment management and wallet extraction, Handy Freake, announced another record-breaking number of incoming students. Nearly 6,000 freshman are slated to…
12 months ago • By
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