Ushering in a new golden age for debauchery, recent executive orders by President Trump to repeal DEI (diversity, equality and inclusion) initiatives have given new hope for hazing’s return to Drexel fraternities. The repealed initiatives offered protection against hazing for students in universities nationwide, by creating safe spaces for students to report harassment. The scrapped […]

The Triangle editorial board often talks about the creator of The Triangle, and how it all came to be. But, it’s time we share the lore with the common folks: First, there was the Big Bang. And on the 8th day God said, “Let there be John Triangle.” In 1906, John Triangle was born. But, […]

Welcome back to The Rectangle’s Pickle Review Corner! Today we will be reviewing the “Heinz Genuine Whole Dill Pickle.” Three of our expert pickle critics will taste the pickles, break them down by category and give a closing statement.  Sam: Well right out of the gate, when cracking open the jar, I was hit with […]

In a heartbreaking announcement to students and faculty, the Drexel University Counseling Center announced that the beloved therapy and emotional support dogs, Espresso, Java, and Mocha Latte, had vanished overnight.  “We have no idea what happened. We left them in their beds last night, and when we got back they were gone,” said a representative […]

In just a few days, the Drexel Football Team faces off against their conference rivals, Penn Improv Super Squad for the championship title. As this legendary event approaches, Drexel University officials are preparing for tens of fans to hit Lancaster Walk, and avoid a repeat of the dangerous situations caused by DFTs past victories. Melvin […]

The University of Pennsylvania has announced its plan to open a luxury squash center on campus, named The University of Pennsylvania Ivy League Squash Center of the University of Pennsylvania. In the announcement for the squash center, the university pledged to invest $80 million into the project, coincidentally double the cost of Drexel’s. The squash […]

On March 19, Drexel University announced a new policy regarding former students of the University of the Arts who had transferred to the Antoinette Westphal College of Media Arts and Design after its unfortunate demise. The policy will deport all UArts refugees on sight in an attempt to deal with the overpopulation issues of Westphal. […]

Leo, here's a step-by-step guide for your day! Wake up, text your side piece (or sext your side piece), tell your significant other you love them, go shopping, secretly meet with your side piece in the mall bathroom, leave them there to get picked up by your significant other and go to a candle lit dinner, get discovered, work the conversation, invite the side piece over, and end the day with double the fun!

Facing severe financial troubles, Drexel University has announced that the University of Pennsylvania will be absorbing Drexel. As Drexel explaineds in a press release, this move will allow Drexel to pay off $700 million of debt accrued from paying university executives with UPenn’s endowment.