If you’re reading this right now then you must be one of The Triangle’s countless adoring fans. Sometimes it feels that The Triangle may even be getting a bit too big for their britches, and it may soon be catching up with them. An inexperienced, heartless hack of a writer who goes by the name […]

Valentine’s Day is only 319 days away, but it’s never too early to start looking for that special someone. That’s why the Rectangle staff got together this year to write the ultimate guide to picking up chicks. All of us writers are big husky men with lots of sex appeal and multiple girlfriends, so you […]

It’s a tough time to be a teenager. Social media is growing into a finely tuned weapon for cyberbullies, the generational gap grows deeper as technology embeds itself into our daily lives, and high school… well high school still just sucks. On March 19, life got harder for many teenage girls. Early Monday morning, fangirls […]

Ricky Maher-Money-Maher-Problems, a teaching assistant at Drexel, made national news this week by tweeting to thousands of followers: “All I Want for Spring Break is Freshman Genocide.” “Nah, bro. I totally didn’t mean it like that,” Maher-Money-Maher-Problems told a Rectangle reporter, shaking his head. “Does anyone understand what the term ‘freshman genocide’ means? Of course […]

BigBounce’s biggest problem is that it got too big too fast, said Snooty Cahoots, former co-op and chairman of Bempis International and current Rectangle staff proctologist. Cahoots, also a senior Badidea entrepreneurship student, stood at the foot of Mario, the university dragon mascot, watching students hurl themselves onto a large trampoline he’d stretched between Mario’s […]

Real estate mogul and United States not my President Donald Trump reached an agreement April 1 with Hospitality3 to purchase The Study and transform it into a bigger hotel that will also feature a strip mall and club. This came as a shock to the university community, as the hotel just announced its opening one […]

“She had so much life left to live,” Toot Toot McPhee stuttered through tissues. “I mean, she was an art history major, so she was going to starve to death anyway, but … it was just too soon,” she cried, inconsolable at the death of her “bestie for life,” Marsha Brady. It has now been […]

A line of affluent middle-aged white people in expensive suits put on hard hats for no discernable reason and moved small piles of dirt three inches from where they originally were as part of the Poorman groundbreaking ceremony March 20. The Poorman Building and Poorman Quadrangle’s renovation was put in motion when the Poorman family […]

Drexel’s last tenured professor, Yuol Shit of the engineering department, announced he would be retiring early yesterday. After a buttload of pressure from the university (new severance package offers were being discretely jammed under his office door every morning) Shit agreed to “just get the goddamn thing over with already”. Administrative officials have been slowly […]

A lot of hysteria has been going around the lamestream media lately with regard to President Donald Trump’s proposal for a renewed ban. I for one wholeheartedly support it, and think that the injunctions from several so-called judges are clear examples of judicial activism. Trump is making good on one of his campaign promises — […]