EDITORIAL: BERNIE SANDERS 2016 FULL COMMUNISM NOW HAIL SATAN

The Rectangle Editorial Board has made our decision. Drexel students have long worked towards a single goal: a communist society unified by the worship of our great lord Lucifer. The Editorial Board therefore endorses Bernie Sanders to bring about Full Communism Now, Hail Satan. Our previous endorsements of the Socialist Workers’ Party were mere protest […]

New Folly application helps students waste their money

In an attempt to increase competitiveness and support expanding demands for capital, Drexel’s administration has begun using a new app that targets areas for the University to levy fees, termed “impositions,” on the student body. Planned to be enacted in the 2016-2017 academic year, proposed tariffs include a cover charge for the Handschumacher Dining Center, […]

Students found not guilty of hazing

The Drexel Judicial Committee investigated several reports of hazing this week within Drexel’s chapter of the National Kanye West Appreciation Club. The committee’s official conclusion was that the hazing was brought on by one of the organization’s former candidates. However, the committee determined that there was in fact no hazing, outlined in their unofficial report. […]

Trampling trend sees an increased herd of followers

According to a study published by Yukon State University March 25, an increasing number of young adults across America are starting to participate in trampling, a raunchy activity wherein two or more individuals derive joy from trampling on someone’s back in heels or being trampled upon, respectively— whether at parties, clubs, the office or in […]

Fast food chains to replace the Hans, students rejoice

In a burst of unprecedented action, Shodickso Ltd. recently cancelled its contract with Drexel Dining, ending the era of the Handschumacher Dining Hall. The Hans announced via a poorly organized MySpace page that the dining hall would serve its last meal to students on April 1, 2016. “Regrettably, the infamous [sic.] Handschumacher will be closing […]

Fries to reveal his sexy side at Drexel Drag Show

President Frizzle Fries has been in the University City spotlight in recent weeks after a UPS delivery mistake outed him as the Office of Student Life’s surprise participant in the Drexel Drag Show later this April. Fries is known for pushing the boundaries of campus engagement and rallying behind everything that seems to be popular with […]